Marriage Preparation in the Parish
THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE
Marriage, a lifelong union between a man and a woman for procreation and mutual support, is a natural institution, but it is also one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church. It reflects the union of Jesus Christ and His Church. Providing proper preparation for marriage is seen as the community’s way of helping couples to make the very best start to their life together.
INITIAL ENQUIRY TO THE PARISH
In line with diocesan policy there must be six-month notice given by couples intending to marry. This time commences from the date of the initial interview with the parish priest. Couples therefore will need to start things off by arranging to see the priest, normally at the parish office. The Parish Secretary will not agree a date for the wedding or make a booking for the church until this initial interview has taken place. It is extremely unwise for couples to make arrangements around their wedding such as booking hotels and halls for the Reception, before they have spoken to the parish priest and he has positively agreed wedding plans.
MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSE
All sessions are held at SS Peter & John Church Hall, 1 Caesar's Camp Road, Camberley. Dates of particular modules are available from the Parish Office.
First Session – this is the preliminary meeting with the parish priest. The priest will determine whether the couple are free to marry in the Catholic Church and complete the first part of the Pre-Nuptial Enquiry Form. Both parties will be asked to provide copies of their baptismal certificates also in some cases Letters of Freedom. Should the couple be free to marry and are serious about being married within their faith community then a date for the wedding may be set at this meeting.
Second Session - This is the first teaching module and will normally be a group session involving several couples. The module is given by the priest and should last for no more than an hour and a half. The historical and biblical background to marriage is covered.
Third Session – This is the Marriage Care day. Several couples will come either to St Peter & St John or to Fleet for a day’s course given by trained Marriage Care counsellors. Themes will include the marriage relationship, good listening techniques, conflict management, sexuality & Christian marriage, and spirituality.
Fourth Session – This is the second teaching module and will again be delivered to several couples in a joint session by the parish priest. Using the Rite of Christian Marriage, the Theology of Marriage, the Sacraments. Vatican 11 and the teaching of the Church are discussed.
Fifth Session – This session involves a second individual meeting with the parish priest. During this session the Pre-Nuptial Enquiry Form is completed, baptismal and other Certificates are provided, and dispensations given. The remainder of the session is dedicated to the construction of the Order of Service. Readings, prayers and hymns are chosen and other details discussed.
Sixth Session – The Rehearsal. This final session normally takes place in the church the day before the wedding. Bride, groom and all principal ‘players’ go through the Service with the priest to ensure that everyone is comfortable with their parts.
ARRANGING THE WEDDING SERVICE - GUIDANCE NOTES
The principal contact numbers are:
St Tarcisius Church Manager Mr Jim Kelly 01276 63993
Flower Arranger - Contact Parish Office
Organist Mrs Jackie Billings 01276 27196
Singer Mrs Cathy Purtill 01276 504009
Hall Manager Mr John Wood 01276 63984
SS Peter & John Church Manager Mr John Looby 01276 691585
Flower Arranger Mrs Dorothy Fletcher 01276 66475
Organist Mrs Norah Ratcliffe 01276 476471
Hall Manager Parish Office 01276 473525
Christ the King Church Manager Mr Mick Moore 01276 472970
Flower Arranger Mrs Myriam Tomkinson 01344 291340
Organist Mrs Helen Day 01276 479213
Choir Mrs Carol Connelly 01276 474268
Notes - General
Couples are asked to be sensitive in contacting the above parish volunteers. Early morning or late night calls will generally not be accepted or welcomed.
2. Confetti is not encouraged but is permitted if required. Couples are to ensure that a biodegradable product is used.
3. As well as Saturdays Marriages are permitted on any weekday.
Liturgy
In all cases a meeting will need to be held with the parish priest at least 2 months in advance of the wedding to construct the Order of Service. A discussion regarding the choice of having a regular Service of Marriage or full Nuptial Mass will take place at this meeting. The choice of readings, music and so on will also be made at this meeting. Following the meeting a draft template of the Order of Service will be sent by e-mail to the couple who will then be responsible for printing Order of Service booklets if they wish to have them.
Photography: A DVD or Video recording of the service is permitted. For this couples are asked to employ or retain only a single operator. It is preferable if this operator is a professional photographer. Discreet equipment may be set up only after consultation with the priest or sacristan. Additional lighting is not normally permitted.Couples are asked to request that the official photographer be sensitive to the dignity of the occasion. Official documents such as the Marriage Register may not be photographed. The dignity of the service, which is an official act of worship, should always be maintained. To this end members of the congregation and guests should not take photographs or record the service in other ways particularly if flash cameras are used. Photographs are permitted outside the church after the service. During the service individuals should not leave their seats to take photographs nor in any way interrupt the proceedings for ‘a better shot’. Other such similar inappropriate behaviour is also discouraged.
The Role of the Usher
At least two Ushers should be appointed. The Ushers will:
· Hand out Orders of Service
· Direct people to their seats
· Close and open the main church doors
· Direct people to the toilets as required
· Be responsible for managing emergencies and incidents during the ceremony
· Be responsible for confetti and other items
· Advise individuals on the above rules governing photography.
· Provide assistance to the official photographer/s, musicians, singers etc.
· Ensure the car park is clear for the arrival and departure of the main cars.
Rehearsal
The rehearsal is an important part of the preparation for the service. As well as the couple individuals who will participate in the service should also attend. These include:
· The person who gives the bride away
· Bridesmaids/pages
· Best Man (who should bring the rings)
· Ushers
· Readers
GUIDANCE ON FEES
It is important that financial arrangements be discussed in advance. The religious marriage ceremony itself does not incur a fee. Any costs associated with a wedding ceremony are in relation to hiring musicians, decorations, or other inclusions. Most payments should be made by the day of the marriage. Unless otherwise stated cheques should be made payable to “Camberley & Bagshot Catholic Parish”. Cash or a cheque should be placed in an envelope and clearly marked.
CHURCH DONATION - There is no so set fee specifically for the priest, however a stipend may be paid to the priest or deacon who performs the marriage ceremony if couples so wish. The cheque or cash should be placed in an envelope and clearly marked: “Stipend” and made out to the "Camberley & Bagshot Catholic Parish”.
AUTHORISED PERSON (AP) The sum of £47.00 plus £3.50 for the Marriage Certificate copy should be paid directly to the AP.
FLOWERS - Should couples wish parish flower arrangers to organise the flowers then cost price will be paid for flowers plus £40 for large pedestals and £20 per small arrangement. Payment should be in advance.
CHURCH ADMINISTRATION FEE - A fee of £110 should be paid to cover various church expenses. This may be waived depending on circumstances.